If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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