Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
birth control should be required to get into college
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
