hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Randomize
