Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize