i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
