ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
