i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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