But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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