i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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