That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
