Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
