You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
