Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i think i have two assholes
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
