So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
