So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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