I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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