you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
