the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
