someone owes me an orgasm
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
It was a blind-side dick pic.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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