i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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