she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
