He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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