You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
