didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so explain again why im purple
no
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
