yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
