just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
