Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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