and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
