I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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