How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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