pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
This baby is an asshole
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Randomize
