he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
