marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize