How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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