Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
