i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
