My brain says no but my pants say off.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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