honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Randomize
