had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
We're too hungover to prance.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
