I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
