You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Randomize
