Pants 0. Shit 1.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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