whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
