Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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