guys are not supposed to queef...right?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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