It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
