Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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