Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize