i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
