I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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