And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
