Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
