he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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