Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
