It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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