i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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