Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
