East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
