How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
