Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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