I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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